Just make it up! At least, that’s what a few authors seem to think is appropriate. Here are some examples from recently-published books:
When his dad died from sorosis of the liver and Bobby went to clean out his place, he only took one of his father’s personal effects: the gun.
Cirrhosis is a disease that deserves the respect of looking it up.
We could get arrested for lude and lascivious behavior.
That kind of spelling is lewd, all right.
Laudie, laudie what a day!
This slang expression has been spelled all kinds of ways, but it means “Lordy, Lordy” which this author seems not to be quite clear about.
He ought not to have renigged on his promises.
He ought not to have reneged on his spelling lessons, either.
He wanted her to wear motorcycle chaps because rode-rash was no fun at all.
This one actually sorta makes sense, but the injuries caused by sliding across rough pavement when the bike crashes are called road rash.
She’s a psychic — a bonified seer.
And that’s a bona fide spelling error.
She was whip-it thin.
Uh — no. Thin as a whip, maybe, but a whippet is a kind of dog, descended from (and still greatly resembling) a greyhound.
The car pulled up under the port a cache.
If you can’t spell porte cochere, call it a carport, okay?
The Snarky Editor comes out of hiding occasionally to comment on the awkward, silly, and sometimes hilarious editing errors found in published books.